Whiskey Bits

"RE-RELEASE: Weller FP; Emu Army"

• Matt Sommerfield & Phil Stokes • Season 1

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This episode was originally released on 3/12/2024 with Special Guest Matt Madigan

Join Matt and Phil in this hilarious and informative episode of Whiskey Bits! They dive into the world of whiskey, specifically exploring Weller Full Proof, a unique and special bourbon. As they share their thoughts on the aroma and taste, you'll get a behind-the-scenes look at the banter and camaraderie between the hosts. 

But wait, there's more! The duo is joined by the one and only Matt Madigan, returning for another episode as their special guest. Together, they take an unexpected turn into the historical "Emu War" that took place in Australia in 1932. Discover the bizarre and true story of how the Australian government faced off against a massive emu population causing havoc on farmlands. This part of the podcast is not only informative but filled with laughter and unexpected twists. 

Tune in for a delightful blend of whiskey talk, comedy, and a historical tale that will leave you entertained and craving more Whiskey Bits!

#WhiskeyBitsPodcast #WellerFP #EmuArmy #MattMadigan #BourbonTalk #PodcastLife #WhiskeyLovers #ComedyPodcast #HistoricalHumor #EmuWar #PodcastGuest #LaughWithUs #TastingNotes #WhiskeyTime #FunnyStories #AustralianHistory #CheersToLaughs #PodcastRecommendation #WhiskeyAdventures #SipAndListen

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Speaker 1:

So again, we're here with Matt. Welcome back, matt. Thank you, I'm excited to be here. You came back, I came back. Yeah, wow, the travel time. Are we going to travel again? I don't want to do travelers ever again.

Speaker 1:

All right, fair enough, I think you should cut that, because we're trying to stay evergreen. That's true. Yeah, I'll cut that. Dang it, matt Idi. We're trying to stay evergreen, that's true. Yeah, I'll cut that. Dang it, matt Idiot. What does that mean?

Speaker 1:

Evergreen, evergreen's, like we don't want to talk about. Oh, tomorrow's Valentine's Day because it dates the podcast. Versus making it evergreen, I'll cut all this. Like we could do the jobs, because we're thinking about putting the jobs episode out when, you know, after the dry bar, so we can use the dry bar. Yes, absolutely, so that might not come out until later. That makes sense. Evergreen, evergreen, gotcha. All this is going to be on it.

Speaker 1:

And that is a look behind the scenes. Behind the scenes, welcome to Whiskey Bits with Matt and Phil, where we talk all things whiskey and all things comedy. So what do we have today? Phil, I have been dying. Oh, I'm so sorry. Sorry, if you're dying, I mean to try this. Oh, it was just really. I've been dying to try this whiskey, since you called me last Friday and it's Tuesday now.

Speaker 1:

Speaking of being evergreen, we can't talk about dates or days. It's January 1st, all right, set us back up. We're doing this again. He's just naming dates. I had to break the tension. It's Halloween now. No, this is good. It's Halloween now. Welcome, this is good. It's Halloween now. Welcome back, matt, welcome back, welcome back again. All that travel Gosh. You guys are the worst. I'm going to be listening to this and you're just going to hear smacks. Now the coughing. So many noises. Reset, stop, reset, start. Okay, wave off. All right, what do we got, phil?

Speaker 1:

So this is the Weller Foamproof and the gold label on the side is a Sazerac Barrel Select picked by Binnie's. So this is a Barrel Select. So this is a littleazerac Barrel Select picked by Binnie's. So that is, this is a Barrel Select. So this is a little bit more special than just your one of the mill. I didn't know that. So what does that mean? Are you aware of this, matt? I think Matt needs to know about this, because this is cool. I'm a total noob.

Speaker 1:

So somebody from Binnie's, or a group of people from Binnie's, went down to Buffalo Trace and they were given the opportunity to drink out of this barrel, to try it and say we like it or we don't, and they picked the barrel that this entire what? Yeah, so this is a single barrel, full proof Weller from one barrel, from one barrel, which is what single barrel means. I did. I did deduce thatuce, that, thankfully, there's that noise again. There is that noise again. Oh, it's a good. You know what that noise reminds me of what? Probably when you're doing the drug testing, the sound of the guy's when he's peeing in a cup, it's much more consistent. I'll say that's like a thick sound, like what did you just drink? Jello for three straight weeks and what are you doing? So the? The reason I think weller is uh, uh, one of the best is it's the original weeded bourbon, and so this one is uh, it's actually the same mash bill as, uh, pappy van winkle. Oh, it's the same. Okay, explain all that again.

Speaker 1:

We did bourbon first of all. Yeah, I was gonna ask. All right, here he goes. This is why he doesn't want to be. He doesn't want to be called. Uh, what did I call you an aficionado? He doesn't want to be called an aficionado, which sounds cool. Nobody knows he could be an aficionado. He doesn't want to be called that that, but he's an enthusiast, a hobbyist, an enthusiast, but he really does know stuff. Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 1:

So, first of all, it's a bourbon, so we can cross that off the list. So we know it's made in America. It was aged in new oak barrels. Okay, it has nothing added but water to it. It's 51% corn. Now we add the weeded part, which is it is a heavier wheat that's put into it than maybe another bourbon would be, and so they can throw that on there, that there's a significant amount of wheat that's in here. Typically, wheat will bring out a little bit more of a sweetness. Like, if you think of wheat bread, I think of wheat bread all the time. I'm thinking about it right now. I'm thinking about it now because we mentioned it. Oh yeah, maybe that's why. That's exactly why I'm so stupid.

Speaker 1:

So a mash bill is a collection of grain Idiot that is then distilled down to the alcohol, put into. I missed everything you just said. Start over, no, I'm kidding, go ahead, just the mash build, just run it back. No, but oh, I'll just re-watch this and then I'll get it later. You'll understand later. But the mash build, but instead you've interrupted me. I know I have to start over. No, the mash build though, because that's my question is a week for a weeded bourbon. It's not that they backfill it with a weed thing, no, there's just more weed in it In the mash.

Speaker 1:

But it's still 51% corn. So let's just for giggles. Do we still giggle as men? You do? Okay, for giggles. Who's giggles? I don't know. My old babysitter that's. We're moving on. Gosh, where did that come from? Childhood memory that just popped in my good lord. Moving on, um, giggles the clown. Okay, so for, we're gonna find this track and be back on it at some point.

Speaker 1:

I promise, yeah, for the mash build, it'll return 51% corn. Sure, could it be 50.5? Or 50.0001 and still be considered a bourbon Corn, or does it have to be 51? I think 51% corn is pretty Standard. I mean, well, that's the rule, okay, but not like so it has to be 51. That's the number, okay, at least. Okay, it can be 99% Mellow corn, 100,000% corn, 100,000% corn.

Speaker 1:

Just, you're drinking corn juice. It's wheat milk. Have you ever had Creep? Yeah, you take the kernels, oh that, and you take the kernels, oh that. And now you're drinking milk, milk in the corn? Yeah right, you can milk anything. So the wheat, though, then comes in with the corn in that same mash, mm-hmm. Okay, so there's going to be, you know, maybe there's barley or there's some rye or there's some other grains that are in that mash bill that you know go into the distilling process to get the alcohol out of.

Speaker 1:

Why don't they? You know, you look at a food item, it's always going to have the ingredients and the percentages. Why don't they do that? Is it just because it's so secretive? It's because it's so secretive, they just don't want people to know. Yeah, they can't tell you. Then you could make it. But Froot Loops I know what's in Fruit Loops. I'm like I'm not going to make Fruit Loops, no, but you know the 11 herbs and spices that go into KFC. Yeah, salt Pepper, we're going to do all of them. We're going to do this now. Salt, seasoned salt Probably a lot of salt Seasoned salt, yeah, okay, bubba Gump, are we going to go into naming all of the salts that you can come up with, bubba Gump? And, yes, it is secretive because anybody could make it at that point. So they do hold that.

Speaker 1:

Those master distillers hold that pretty close to the best they do wear vests, okay, or aprons or whatever. I don't think they wear aprons. I can see like a lab Hazmat suits, yeah, or like one of those like lab leather lab aprons, you know, maybe like a horseshoe putter on a guy to wear. Oh, that's probably what they used for the last one. That's why it tasted like a leather shoe, that's right. Oh, he's getting to become. He's an aficionado in and of itself, hobbyist, hobbyist, enthusiast, better than a lobbyist, yeah.

Speaker 1:

So should we try it? Yeah, I think we should try it. It's been sitting here for a couple minutes, which I think is good. Is that bad, though? Do we miss out on? No, I don't think so, because this is a full proof.

Speaker 1:

So a lot of times, with bourbon and other whiskeys, they'll proof it down to something that's a little bit more manageable and drinkable. So you don't die. So you don't die. So I'm going to die. Yep, okay, very likely. Great, this may be your first and last episode. There you go. Or your or your last and second, depending on the release order. Your third and fifth. There we go again. Evergreen, you guys are screwing this up. Who cares? Nobody cares.

Speaker 1:

So this is, uh, I can smell it already. I barely like. I think, when you brought it by, I can smell it. Oh my goodness, and doesn't it smell fantastic, I feel like you can smell something. I feel like it smells like apples in the apple orchard. That's, that's that orchard? That's really amazing. It's really amazing. Yeah, so a lot of bourbon. You don't even have to bring it close, no, no, they'll proof them down to 100 proof. 90 proof. That's usually what you're looking at.

Speaker 1:

This one will have the actual proof listed on it. Is it like 109? Listed on it 114. So 57% alcohol. The actual. Was it like 109? Listed on 114? So 57 alcohol.

Speaker 1:

You know, most of these things put hair on your chest. This will burn it straight off. Man, gone your chest, your throat, your face, everywhere that you nailed it. Caramel apple, telling you, it reminds me of fall. Yeah, lots of caramel apple. For for me, a lot of caramel apple. That just smells amazing.

Speaker 1:

See, there's a thing like remember how I said the last couple times I've I've done the nose test and is it called nosing? Yeah, okay, so I've just smelled alcohol. But higher quality stuff, man, I'm telling you, yeah, I actually get the fruits and stuff. This is 114 proof. The other stuff that we've tried in the past less 90, 100, something like that. It's all ethanol, it's kind of burning off of there.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, wow, do you smell like, in all honesty, like can you get fruit notes and stuff? Well, I definitely caught the apple when it's like yeah, right, like it was, like whose glass it was, but wafting it towards my face and it's just all over. It's so strong, it smells so good, I almost don't want to stop spelling it. You don't have to and I won't opens up. It'll keep spelling better and better. Yeah, yeah. So what's happening?

Speaker 1:

I know this is probably juvenile, or what did they call that? When it's like Moronic no, not moronic. When you ask a stupid question, yeah, like in food, they're like oh, it's so this, why don't you ask the question? We'll work our way back rather than just stabbing in the dark.

Speaker 1:

There's a word. I can't think of it. I thought maybe by my facial expression you'd get it, but oh, yeah, does it have letters? Yes, okay, right, letters. Do you know what the letters are? No, okay, sounds sure. Okay, it's so pedestrian, that's it. Yeah, that's usually what they say about people who are eating food or walking in the street. Pedestrian, why did? Why did I even say that. What were we talking about? You said tell me what's happening. This is so, what's the word for it? They say this is so pedestrian, bringing it back.

Speaker 1:

This is a probably so pedestrian to say this as a whiskey person. But and again, I'm not, who am I? But why? Again, you explained it to me once before. Why does it? Even with wine? I'm like, okay, I don't get it. Why does it open up? Why do the flavors come out more as it sits? Yeah, that's uh.

Speaker 1:

As the oxygen penetrates and burns off some of that ethanol, it will release some of the flavors and notes and things like that that you, that you get in the whiskey. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You said penetrates and I can't. Ladies and gentlemen, 12 year old, 12 year old. Is this a 12 year? Oh, I'm a 12 year old. Is this a 12 year? Oh, I'm a 12 year old. Yeah, that's, that's probably true. Okay. So I said to penetrating oxygen, did you know? This is what I want to know.

Speaker 1:

This is called a bunghole. Did you know that? I did. I learned that. He told me that last time. No, it really is. That's what it's called. It's called a bunghole and in one after the, you present that after the 12-year-old moment. I know it just keeps it going. Just got to get it all out while it's on the mind. I said penetrate. You looked right at him. I'm not really sure why. It's because I've seen him naked. I've seen you naked Also. True, have you me naked? Yeah, oh, I didn't know about that. Yeah, man, I'm learning a lot today. This is really good.

Speaker 1:

You asked how old it is. Right, yeah, and I haven't even sipped it yet. People probably like what the heck am I listening to? If they've made it this far, congratulations. I thank you for your service to, uh, my own mental health. Oh, full proof indeed, mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, you know, like the little hole in the top of your mouth, mm-hmm, it went up in there Into your nose. It is now a part of that one, that hole, it is now a part of my sinus system.

Speaker 1:

So, no age statement on this one. So we don't know how long it's at. Why do they do that? I want to know. Is it because, again, the recipe thing they don't want to put it on there? No, I don't, I don't.

Speaker 1:

I don't really know why they wouldn't put an age statement on it. Probably because it's not required to and maybe it's going to detract from the value, perceived value, of it. They probably, maybe they don't put it on the same potentially right, it's always a, that's always a potential concern, because if that's a four year, you would think different of it, right? I wouldn't think anything of it because I don't think of whiskey in an aged sort of way. No, because don't they say that there's a certain amount of years.

Speaker 1:

Somebody told me this is like six or eight where it actually gets worse or it doesn't get much better, it doesn't get better, it doesn't get better. And then you have the risk-reward, because the longer it sits in the barrel, the less you're going to get out of that barrel. Because of evaporation, because of the angel's share, because of the devil's cut, all of those reasons Devil don't get me down. You're going to maybe come up with less whiskey than what you can put in and the amount of whiskey is going to stink because you may or may not get good whiskey. Well, or it's going to be good. I mean the aging process. It's going to be good, but again you're going to have so few. I mean it aging process it's going to be good, but again you're going to have so few.

Speaker 1:

I mean, well, there's barrels that you think are going to be fantastic barrels, 20 years later and it's completely empty. What? Oh, wow, really. Yeah, I feel bad for that guy. He's like this is the best mash I've ever done. It's going to be the greatest. I tell you, pop it open, pop it open. Where'd it go? There's nothing in here. When I hear the crazy, crazy thing is in Kentucky, where a majority of this stuff is made, you actually pay taxes on the space that the barrel takes up, as if it were full for the number of years. So imagine aging a barrel of whiskey for 20 years, opening up it's empty. You've paid taxes on all of that alcohol and you get nothing out of it. You get nothing out of it, it just sunk. He's not going to do that again, mad. Again, that would suck, it would be bad.

Speaker 1:

Does it happen with wine? Great question, no idea. This isn't a wine podcast. Take your wine question and leave. He idea. I don't know. This isn't a wine podcast. Wine, take your wine question and leave. He's not a wine enthusiast, come on. Oh, that's true Wine. Don't you take that somewhere else? Oh gosh, here we go Every time we do a dad joke, we got to take a shot from the.

Speaker 1:

Oh, take a shot from the dad joke bottle. That would be a dangerous thing. That actually sounds like a thing that we should do. Yes, every dad joke, you got to take one out of there. You got to take a sip of that. I kind of like that idea. It's like getting smacked, it's like the slap thing all over again. It is, it's literally no different. Drinking Old Tub is like doing professional slap in the face sport, but then it will be an infinity bottle. So what's in there? It's old tub, old tub, old tub, unfiltered, uncut, undelicious, undeserving, undelicious. We want to stay. I mean, somebody likes it and if you like it, please come over and drink. Please come on over and tell us about it and then we'll kick you out.

Speaker 1:

You really could just smell this. Yeah, oh, you know what. There was like another on that one. I got another flavor, like, yeah, I don't know, apple pie. Is that wrong? No, I mean caramel, apple and apple pie. Yeah, yeah, that would make sense. But this is gonna have a little bit more of the spice. Right, you caught a little bit more of the spice. It's definitely got. And the the savory. Yeah, now you got a little bit of a spice on it. Yep, yeah, like a cinnamon, or you're not. Yeah, yeah, you're not wrong. Yeah, oh, I kind of I really do want to let this one sit a little bit longer. Delicious, I feel like it's gonna get sweeter as it's. I bet it does. Yeah, I bet it does.

Speaker 1:

I found I don't know how I came upon this article. I just think it's funny and I'm like I don't know, maybe somebody's done a joke on it. But did you guys know, have you heard of the emu? Emu, emu war, emu war. You know what emu is? Yes, like the animal. Yeah, an emu. Like the large bird. It looks like a giant bird. It is a giant bird. Yeah, it also looks like a giant bird. It's like an ostrich. It looks like a giant ostrich. It looks like a giant bird. It also is a giant bird. Therefore, emu war. Have you heard of the emu war? No, what is that? It sounds like you're really struggling to say emu war. I can say either. Does it matter, it does to the emus? I'm not sure the emus care, because their brain is the size of a pea. We're gonna have emus knocking down the door.

Speaker 1:

Apparently, in Australia, the great emu war, not just the Emu War the Great. Are you saying Emu Award? No, emu Bird War? Okay, a war of emus, emus, just think about this. Are the emus fighting each other? Wait, are there people riding on emus? I will get Like, just think about this. Are the emus fighting each other? Wait, are there people riding on emus? I will get there. We joked in a podcast episode about a chicken army. Yes, this is a real thing, an emu army.

Speaker 1:

In 1932 in Australia, there were so many emus, which are large flightless birds indigenous to Australia, that they were destroying crops. And so the government said, hey, we need to like kill some emus. Well, apparently. So I love this story, matt, thank you so much. Hold on. Well, apparently. So I love the story, matt, thank you so much, hold on.

Speaker 1:

Apparently, people were unsuccessful at killing emus, so much so that the Royal Australian Artillery Soldiers had to get involved. What Armed with Lewis guns? I don't even know what that is Lewis guns. This is Wikipedia, so this could just be crap. This could be like some teenager like I'm going to make, gonna make a story. I kind of feel like madigan might know what a lewis gun is. I do know what the heck is a lewis gun. I mean, it's like a cannon. Is the cannons that we're shooting at the chickens? That's, we didn't even know. We were talking about history. We had had no idea. Right, because chickens, the Royal Australian, you can look this up.

Speaker 1:

Royal Australian artillery soldiers armed with Lewis guns leading the media to adopt the name Emu War or Emu War when referring to the incident. Although many, this is what kills me. It's the Australians lost. Oh no, I was wrong, it's. It's not a, it's not like an art, it's not a shot, it's like an early machine gun. Okay, well, that's even funnier. They basically hired all the rambos all the way. They lost against. They lost emus. Although many birds were killed, the emu population persisted and continued to cause crop destruction. End of story, that's it. There were too many emus. They tried to kill them. They couldn't kill them fast enough. How many Australians were lost in the Battle of the Emus? That's what I would love to know.

Speaker 1:

I feel like oh man, can you imagine World War I, large number following World War I. So you get out of World War, I Survive the trenches. Large numbers of discharged veterans who served in the war were given land. Okay, so they were given land and they started farming. And blah, blah, blah, they come back. Oh my gosh, the life for these guys, man. They have World War I Life sucked. They're given land after my gosh. The life for these guys, man. They have world war one, they're given. They're given land after the war. Great, oh, we're going to be a farmer. Great, oh yeah. Great depression hits, yeah, okay.

Speaker 1:

So then, because of the great depression, they got to work harder and make more wheat. I'm just getting this from Wikipedia. I don't know what the talking about, but it's interesting. Yeah, yeah, they had to get more wheat. Okay, cool.

Speaker 1:

The problem the government's like hey, this is gonna be great for you, we're gonna give you some subsidies. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Wheat prices still fell. It was so intense. Farmers preparing to harvest these, wow. So I'll just read this part. Wheat prices continued to fall and by october 1932 this is from wikipedia the situation intensified, with the farmers preparing to harvest the season's crop while simultaneously threatening to refuse to deliver the wheat because the prices fell. They grew so much of it, but then the prices kept falling. The government's like hey, we're going to give you some subsidies to help with the price falling Didn't help.

Speaker 1:

Well then, all of that, the difficulties of the farmers were worsened by the arrival of approximately 20,000 emus 20,000? Because they migrate for breeding. Oh my gosh, with the cleared land and additional water supplies being made available for the livestock by the farmers, the emus found that the cultivated lands were good habitat Basically. Hey, the emus are like hey, they're, they're doing some good things over, they got a lot of water, they got a lot of crops. It's like the promised land for emus, let's go great. The moses of the emus was like the moses, we're going to the promised land, baby, let's invade our homeland. Yeah, they get to the promise indigenous of well now. Well, now that they're indigenous because they're there, and then there's a war that starts. So these poor farmers, the farmers, are caught between the royal army and the emu. Oh my gosh, can you imagine Like we thought we had it bad with COVID? That's much worse Emus attacking, destroying your crops that the government isn't going to pay you for anymore.

Speaker 1:

Oh my gosh, there's a joke in here somewhere. The whole thing's a joke. Well, it's very sad, I mean. I'm sure it's similar to like the potato famine in Ireland. Well, potatoes aren't trying to kill you, though, correct, like what did the? Here's what I want to know.

Speaker 1:

Here's where the joke is, here's where I think it is what does, what does the battle look like from one soldier to one emu? That's what I want to see. Like if you were to be like, let's do a document, like I want to see, like history channel do a documentary talking about lewis got like that's a machine gun. Are they like this? The bird is just yeah, they're like around, like they're dodging. They're like the matrix bird yeah, it's like the matrix of all of them and the. Are they like gathering together? Do they have a plan? Like, are the emus like, okay, where you know, are they drawing? Do they have little maps that are like okay, this farm's over here, bill, you're going to go over there. Well, I think they've got Like do they come out at night? Do they just go in broad daylight? Like, what is their battle strategy?

Speaker 1:

One thing we know for sure they did not have an air force. They are flightless birds. They are flightless birds, that's true. It was a complete ground attack. It was a full-on ground attack. Yes, well, I mean, are we sure they didn't enlist any other bird allies, right? Or do they have allies? What about kangaroos? True? I mean, did they maybe try to get some kangaroos involved? Maybe the kangaroo mafia stepped away and was like we're not messing with this, because I feel like I could be making this up, the quote, unquote war.

Speaker 1:

And here's the thing. There's a guy Wait, wait, wait. Which? The war are we talking about? World war one, the emu war or the emu? The emu war, the great war, the great emu defense? This is the best statement I've ever read on any article ever. Are you ready for this? The fact that the guy had to do this, he's probably thinking what am I? This is my life, this is I'm actually having this I have. This is a, this is a governmental order. Okay, wait, wait, wait, let's set the scene here. It's 1932. It's 1932.

Speaker 1:

You are the what in the Australia Defense minister. You are the defense minister of all of Australia, of Australia. And you have to come out in front of people, give a speech About birds. And you have to come out in front of people, give a speech and say About birds, and say and you have to say what you have to, defense Minister, sir George Pierce ordered the army to cull the emu population. He was later called the Minister of the Emu war in parliament, by senator james dunn.

Speaker 1:

Meanwhile. Meanwhile, in europe, right, oh, no, oh man, this is what we're worried about in australia, worried about the emus conducted under blah blah blah, the royal artillery, seventh heavy artillery, with meredith commanding soldiers, sergeant s mcmurray and gunner jo halloran, armed with two lewis guns and 10 000 rounds. Of this is the problem three guys to take care of 20 000 birds. However I, however, I see the issue. Here's the thing, though it was raining, so they had to delay it Because it was raining, which it caused the emus to scatter, oh my gosh. So here's the thing we have guns, but they scatter with rain. You know what that sounds like.

Speaker 1:

That sounds like the minister was like hey, can you put together a group to just deal with these birds? And some general was like yeah, I got it, I got it, I got the best guys, and he gets the three biggest idiots that he needs to deal with and sends them off into the bush and like they just, they like shoot everything, that's not. And then they have to like well, how do we explain that? We lost, we lost, it rained, it rained, it rained and they ran, the birds fled. We just got to cover this up. It's like they could have just sprayed them with a hose. They would have fled Ugh. With a hose they would have fled.

Speaker 1:

The rain lasted from October to November and then they deployed troops, multiple troops, multiple troops Plural. That's why they need to get sent three so they can make it plural. This is just odd. The troops were deployed. Now we're getting the rain ceased, they deploy troops, according to this some newspaper, and they said that the uh, they had to assist farmers and, according to a newspaper account, to collect 100 emu skins so that their feathers could be used to make hats for light horsemen.

Speaker 1:

So now they're going into fashion. They got distracted they're like hey look by the fashion opportunity. Not only are we going to kill these guys, but there's an opportunity Well, could you imagine For some new fashion wear for our light horsemen? Imagine the Australian outcry. If you're just going to call a whole bunch of emus, at least do something with them. Oh, we'll make hats. Can we at least get some hats? We'll make some hats. It's a little funny. Then somebody got real excited about the hats.

Speaker 1:

I love how there's a yeah, there's an article. Part of the article is his first attempt, which alludes to the fact that there's more than one attempt More than one to kill the birds oh my gosh, the giant flightless bird. Why don't you just take all of that wheat, buy up all of that wheat, put it in one corner of a field and let them have it. Just go over there. Just eat all of that over there. It's insane. And then, while they're enjoying the wheat, build a fence. Oh, there you go. They can't fly over it, mm-hmm. And now you can send the three idiots. Now you have a source of protein. Now you get the three idiots that can go over there and shoot fish in a barrel. Exactly, hold on a second, it gets better. We're in the legacy section now. No, there's a legacy section of the story.

Speaker 1:

Oh no, in 2019, a musical adaptation of the story was workshopped oh my goodness, was workshopped in Melbourne. What is it, court? Come on. It's workshopped in Melbourne by playwright Simeon and composer James Court. An action comedy film titled the Emu War premiered there. At least it's an action comedy, oh yeah. At least they knew what they had Ready for this. Another At least it's an action comedy. Oh yeah, hold on, they knew what they had Ready for this. Another action comedy retelling of events was written by John Cleese, monty Franklin, rob Schneider. This makes sense. One of my faves, camilla Cleese and Jim Jeffries was aiming to begin production in 2023 or 24.

Speaker 1:

I got to ask my buddy, jamie, if he knows anything about that. What? Yeah, that's ridiculous. So we knows anything about that. Yeah, that that's so. We're gonna get a monty python version. I want to see this movie. If any movie gets made, that movie will make a billion dollars in the box office.

Speaker 1:

I just think, like there's not even a joke. The whole thing's a joke. It's just telling the story. Yeah, I think telling the story. But like, what's funny about that? Like similar with the drug thing, right, like the funny thing about the drug is when you go, okay, yeah, this happens, you do drug testing for athletes, but then you take a weird, you know a weird um sport like curling, and you say, what are we testing them for? Well, same thing with this. What is the war strategy against emus? Like this is being made up on the spot and then, like they're winning. So like, what's their strategy? Are winning, what are they doing? And can we then learn from this when we go to war? Right, so that we now have better.

Speaker 1:

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said I want to see how this played out. Yes, because I want to see what you would look like pretending to be an emu. I'm already from, I'm already pretending to be a rapper running from a lewis gun. Yes, show me. I think it's just you dodging, got a lewis gun dodging. I may not be able to do vocal impressions, but I can do body impressions. Yeah, yeah, I'm very interested in this.

Speaker 1:

More so, I would say more so to figure out, is it emu or emu? I don't know, nobody knows. Someone knows, but they're not going to tell us that somebody was probably killed by the emu. Seriously, any fatalities in that, human fatalities? I really, I really hope there weren't any right um, but I would like to know. But like you wouldn't want people to know as well, I'm telling you cover up, it's totally a government cover-up. Were they really emus? Were they aliens? We don't know. We we'll never know. It's insane.

Speaker 1:

I just thought that was a funny story.

Speaker 1:

I'm like story. I'm like what are we gonna call this episode? Weller, foolproof emu, just weller emu, weller emu war. But here's the problem is nobody's gonna know how to say the name of the episode. Yeah, no one's gonna be true. We just did it twice and we have no. We're probably just really stupid, right?

Speaker 1:

And like it's obvious, what it's called Emu, emu, emus don't fly, they don't swim, they don't do anything. What do they do? How could you not take care of 20,000 emus? Underestimating them? Never underestimated an emu, never underestimated the intelligence. The intelligence we've learned anything today, it's that we don't know how old this whiskey is, and never underestimate an emu. Those are the. Those are the two takeaways. Yeah, definitely the end. Thanks for listening. That's good. Be careful out there. There might be an emu next time on whiskey bits.

Speaker 1:

My grandpa looks almost exactly like ray. Fine, okay, that's probably why. That's probably why I see it, but I'd like to think it looked like maybe a ryan gosling or like a ryan reynolds or really any of the ryans. Yeah, ryan pitt. I don't know who.

Speaker 1:

Ryan pitt is the lesser known brother of brad. He's actually a car mechanic. Hey, ryan, you done with my muffler. You work on that. You need to finish that up for me. Oh, you're not done with it. Oh, you broke it. The muffler's still broken, okay, ryan, well, look, you said you were the best and I believed you, but now I'm starting to think that you're not. I will talk to Brad right now. Don't let me. I will bring Brad into this conversation about my muffler. You promised me a muffler fix. Right now I'm not seeing it. I don't know why. That's funny. I don't think it would be funny normally Ryan Pitt fixing my muffler so dumb. But the best part is that you're friends with Brad Pitt and you have his brother working on your car. His brother, ryan, is a car mechanic. Hey, thanks for sticking around. That's it for this episode of Whiskey Bits, but if you enjoyed yourself, please like, share and subscribe on your favorite platform.

People on this episode

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Matt Sommerfield

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Phil Stokes

Host